The Adventures of Crazy Naked Hallway Man

So, Zu and I were sharing a lovely nap tonight....

....when we were woken up most surprisingly...

...By quite a bit of inarticulate yelling in our apartment hallway.

Enter: Crazy Naked Hallway Man.  A superhero of modern disturbance, shouting his everloving lungs out over god only knows what.  Or at least, that's how it began.  Soon, his yowlings took form, as though crafted by a loving artisan to embody sheer delusional madness.  First it was about a fire, then about some lady being dead (Don't worry; neither were true), and each were peppered with frantic shouts, door-slamming, and overall whatthefuckery.

He went from slamming on one neighbor's door to the next, doing a top notch job of waking up everyone under the sun --Did I mention that this took place at 11pm?  Well, this took place at 11pm.  Most of our neighbors are normal human beings who sleep at night like normal human beings tend to enjoy doing.  So, this event was a lovely wake-up for everyone.  A lovely, ass-naked, incoherent wake-up with old wrinkly crazy-man bits flopping in the gentle breeze. 

We called the cops.  The neighbors called the cops.  Eeeeveryone called the cops.  And luckily, thanks to being in a pretty great location, they came pretty damn quick.  So soon enough, the crazy yell-yowls coming through our door were accompanied by the tell-tale sounds of walkie-talkies and calm, yet dreadfully confused, voices.

Soon enough they got the guy into pants (yay), and out the door.  But not before a whole bunch more yelling, frantic wow-this-dude's-fucking-lost-it-style panic rambling, and reassurance that nothing was on fire and all that.  Thankfully he's in  good hands now, and will hopefully be getting some help and such.  I kinda sorta doubt we'll be seeing him back here after that one.

So, thus ended the Adventures of Crazy Naked Hallway Man.  Now we're awake, and are probably going to eat baked potatoes, so I guess there's a happy ending for us, too.  Baked potatoes rock.